Equal and Oppposite
by Writer's Arcanum
Summary: You know that one kid in your average family who's always spacing out or sleeping? That's me. You know that one kid in your average family who's way to hyper for her own good? That's her. We're polar opposites. Yet somehow, against all odds, this girl fell in love with me. Unfortunately, I have no choice but to deal with it. (Non-deadly SAO, spoilers in first A/N, adult language)


Equal and Opposite

Chapter One: The Lazy Badass

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><p><strong>Ever wonder what things would be like for everyone if SAO wasn't a death game? If it didn't trap ten-thousand people inside it? This is a story that I came up with on a whim, and it indulges that thought, with a few extra changes as well.<strong>

**So, here's a small list of the changes that I deem are necessary for you to know in order to understand and further enjoy this story. There are more, obviously, but these are the changes that you would benefit from knowing right away.**

**First and foremost, there is the obvious fact that Sword Art Online is not a death game. Though it originally only had ten-thousand slots for players, in this world, it eventually became open to anyone who wanted to join in the fun. Seven months prior to the first narrated time in this story, the game became completely open, and anyone who wanted to play merely had to buy the game and the required hardware.**

**Second, Yuuki Konno and her backstory have been drastically changed from canon. She does not have AIDS, for a start. Because of this, when she decided to play SAO (because there is no ALO in this story), she did not use the Medicuboid. (Okay, for those of you who are curious, I lost touch with SAO II's anime before the Mother's Rosario arc even started, so I'm only going off of info from the wiki and also don't know how much the anime has revealed at this point in time.) As the Medicuboid had much to do with Yuuki's incredibly fast reaction time, the fact that she uses a regular Nerve Gear in this story makes her reaction time a bit slower than it is in canon.**

**Third, the Original Sword Skill system that existed in ALO was implemented into this story's SAO as a commemoration of SAO becoming open to the public. There are a few notable differences, a lot of which will be pointed out by characters in this story.**

**One last thing: if you don't like Kirito to be OP, and you don't like the idea of him having a very strong mouth, then this isn't a story you'll like. Just thought I should get that out there.**

**I believe that accounts for everything that you need to know. I guess that if you like this story, I'll see you at the bottom note.**

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><p>You know that one kid in your average family that's always spacing out or sleeping? The one that just sits in the house or backyard all day and does nothing but laze around? The one that no one can hold a conversation with due to his inability to pay attention to someone for longer than ten seconds? That's me.<p>

You know that one kid in your average family that's way to hyper for her own good? The one that's always doing something, whether productive or not, to occupy every second of her day? The one who's good at every sport she tries due to her massive amount of energy that never seems to run out? That's her.

We're polar opposites. For every quality that one of us has, the other has something equal and opposite to completely contradict it. You'd think we would hate each other with a passion due to the massive amount of qualities we hate about each other.

And yet somehow, against all odds, this girl who is basically ADHD in a meth pipe…

Fell in love with me.

And, unfortunately, I have no choice but to deal with it.

I can still remember the week that set this whole mess into motion. No matter how much I want to forget it, my "week of damnation" remains ever-vivid in my photographic memory.

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><p>"Hey, Klein."<p>

"What's up, Kirito?"

"You ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't one of the top-ranked players in SAO?"

At this, my red-haired online friend named Klein looked over at me curiously. "No, why?"

"Well, it's just…" the thought had been gnawing at my brain for a good few hours as we lay there on our beach towels. We were on the forty-fourth floor of «Aincrad», hidden in a beach that, due to a system bug, would keep us from being located by an rabid fans or random challengers. Even for people on our friends lists, our location data would say, 'Unknown', even though we were logged in and chilling on a sunny beach on the west edge of one of the more recent floors.

"It's just what?" he asked me, trying to coax the information out of my space-case brain. He knew that my attention span barely exceeded that of a fruit fly, and thus, that he would occasionally have to remind me of various things.

"I guess… I wish I could go back to the time before that gigantic tournament, when I was still a nobody," I revealed, sighing as I remembered the simpler times in my time logged into «Sword Art Online». "I mean, back then, I could sleep under a random tree and not have to worry about waking up to a duel invitation."

"I know what you mean," my best online friend looked up at the sky with a nostalgic expression. "Before the tournament, I got a hell of a lot more time to grind with my buds. Now, the second I leave a dungeon, I have to teleport to another floor to avoid the people gathering to challenge me."

"Exactly," I nodded my head in agreement. "And I've got it worse than any of the other guys. Winning the whole thing only made people eager to challenge me. I wish there were some way to be known as even more powerful than people already think I am. You know, to the point that no one would even think of challenging me to a duel."

Klein gave me a look that said he had an idea. "You could reverse that. What if you unceremoniously lost in the first round of the next tournament? There're only a few days left, but I know you'll register if you haven't already. No matter how lazy you can be, you're a combat addict."

"And that's exactly why I can't throw a single match," I gave him a tired look. "I registered already, yeah. But, to get the most out of my spot, I need to give it my all in each battle. It's my code, man."

"Fair enough," Klein gave me a sympathetic look. A second or two later, his face lit up, as if he remembered something really important. "By the way, have you heard of that relatively new player who's got an undefeated streak that rivals yours?"

"No, why?" this really interested me.

"Everyone calls her the «Absolute Sword». They say she's been undefeated since she started playing a few months back. Apparently, she's got ninety-eight wins in a row right now."

"She's probably trying to beat my record of one-o-seven," I speculated, sighing a great sigh as I dreaded the possibility of people comparing me to this girl. "Well, whatever. I never planned to hold the record forever. Maybe people will be less interested in challenging me if she beats it."

"Well… that's just it…"

I didn't like the tone of his voice. When I looked over to him, I found his expression to be worse than his tone. "What?"

"I don't know how to say this, but…" he seemed to be struggling to find words that would keep me calm. "Word is that she plans to tie your record, and then… duel you."

I said but one word. One word that summed up how I felt about the whole damn situation.

"Fuck."

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><p>For the first time in a year and a half, I found myself dreading logging into SAO. I almost didn't log in at all, but I knew I would have to log in at some point. After all, the tournament was the next day. Why was I so opposed to logging in?<p>

That girl had finally tied my record.

Unfortunately, that meant she would probably be there to confront me in the exact place where I logged out last time, and would be forced to log into the next. Thus, I would probably be forced to duel her.

Unfortunately, I had to log in to make some last-minute preparations before the second "Ultimate Swordsman Tournament" that was going to start the next day.

Why was I so opposed to dueling her? The thought of a combat addict such as myself not wanting to duel a strong opponent seemed outrageous to most players who knew about it. However, there was one, unbelievably simple answer that only I knew about.

I didn't want to use my trump card before the tournament even began. It was meant to be a surprise that I would save until late in the tournament, and I didn't want people to see my new fighting style so early on.

As I debated on whether I really needed to go in that day, I suddenly heard the sound of shattering glass coming from right behind me. When I slowly, ever so slowly, turned around, I saw countless shards of shattered glass all over my bedroom floor, along with a baseball next to the wall opposite the window that had undoubtedly just been broken.

_That's it!_ I shouted in my head, abruptly standing up from my computer chair and walking over to where the baseball sat on my bedroom floor.

I picked it up, then proceeded to walk over to my broken window. In the backyard next to mine, I saw exactly what I expected to see: my over-the-edge-hyper neighbor, Konno Yuuki. She had an aluminum baseball bat in her hands, proving that she had without a doubt been the culprit.

Her apologetic smile did nothing to ease my rage. If anything, it only pissed me off even more. As her older sister walked up from behind her, I began shouting at the top of my lungs.

"What the fucking hell?!" I nearly screamed, glaring at them with the force of a thousand suns. "There's broken glass all over my goddamn room! What the fuck is wrong with you two?! Why the hell would you do this in your goddamn backyard?!"

"Sorry!" the younger sibling replied earnestly, her waist-length black hair bouncing a bit as she quickly bowed.

I almost started to forgive her, but completely halted that train of thought when her sister spoke up.

"At least it'll give you something to do, you damn lazy ass!"

I just stood there for a moment, feeling incredibly tempted to throw the baseball in my left hand right at her head.

"Not helping, Aiko!" Yuuki said as she punched her older sister's shoulder. "Sorry about my sis, but can we please have our baseball back? We only have that one left."

With an eerily calm and even tone, I said, "Oh? You want your baseball back?"

Yuuki, completely unaware of what was to come, merely nodded.

"Okay, then," I said, switching the ball into my right hand before making the motions to throw it. Both Aiko and her sister seemed to get what I was about to do, and both of them froze in place.

"Here you go!"

Before either of them could react, I threw the ball with stunning speed and precision, nearly beginning to cackle maniacally as it completely shattered the rather small window of their wooden shed, which had become known throughout the neighborhood as their father's precious 'man cave'. They both looked over, and when I saw the horror in their eyes, I finally lost it.

I started laughing in a similar manner to your average maniacal anime villain, walking away from the window with a satisfied smile on my face. I said one, final thing before exiting my room to get a snack.

"An eye for an eye, a window for a window!"

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><p>It took about thirty minutes for me to find and throw away each and every shard of glass that the window lost. With each piece, I found myself wanting more and more to log into SAO and grind against mob after mob on the current top floor, being floor fifty-one.<p>

By the time I was finished, I had completely forgotten about the looming threat of that annoying challenger who wanted to beat my undefeated streak by beating me herself. And so, the moment I had my room looking adequately clean, I slid my Nerve Gear over my head and said two simple words.

"Link start!"

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><p>The moment I officially spawned back in the game, I noticed a girl standing in front of me with a determined look. Her clothing mostly consisted of violet-colored items with red or black trim, with the only exception being a black light metal chest plate.<p>

At her side was a thin, black sword of a similar design to my «Elucidator», which I had recently obtained as the LA bonus from the fiftieth floor boss raid. I could easily tell that it was not a rapier, though the flat looked barely wide enough for it to classify as a one-handed straight sword.

Looking back up to her face, I noticed several features that looked unnervingly similar to that of the girl whose baseball had crashed through my window not an hour before. Even the hair was in the same style and length, though this person's hair color matched the violet of her clothing.

_She must have been waiting for me to spawn._

"Hello?" I queried, a slight edge in my voice as I spoke. "Can I help you with something?"

I already knew exactly who this was. It had to be this «Absolute Sword» that Klein had been talking about only a day before. Oddly enough, I didn't even think about avoiding her at this point. Why?

She looked almost exactly like the girl that I wanted to beat to a pulp.

"Well, you can start by accepting my duel invitation," she said rather arrogantly, opening her menu and manipulating it until I saw an in-game window pop up in front of me. "And you can finish when you lose."

I smirked deviously, setting the mode to «Death Match» before hitting accept. "Normally, I would decline, but…"

As the timer began to count down, she asked me a question while drawing her black sword. "But what?"

As I drew my «Elucidator» from its sheath on my back, I answered her with an almost demonic look. "I need to blow off some steam, and you look like the perfect target, «Absolute Sword»."

Her eyes widened for the faintest of moments before narrowing into a squint. "We'll see if you can keep that smug attitude when I beat you."

"Talk about arrogant," I replied, looking up at the timer. "Well, one of my favorite things to do in-game is wipe out people's overconfidence in their abilities."

A mere second later, the buzzer sounded, telling all of the gathering spectators that the duel between the game's strongest and his powerful challenger had finally begun.

Before she had time to react, I charged at her, activating a low-level dash-type «Sword Skill» to reach her faster. However, the moment my blue-shining blade came within her range, she hit my skill with one of her own, knocking me into the air.

She immediately followed up with a «Sonic Leap» aimed straight at my chest. Unfortunately for her, she had knocked me up into the perfect position to activate a midair «Original Sword Skill» that I had created not three days prior.

Just as she reached me in the air, I activated «Vertical 360», sending me into a vertical slashing somersault that overpowered her «Sonic Leap» and knocked her back into the ground.

I fell to the cobblestone streets of the «Starting City» gracefully, standing up straight just in time to block a horizontal strike from my opponent's dark blade. While her sword recoiled into the air from my skyward strike, I transitioned into a full spin attack that tore straight through her chest plate and forced her back about a meter.

"First blood," I said darkly as I watched the red damage lines on her chest plate slowly fade. "That all you got?"

"Not even close," she replied, charging at me once more.

I met her sword with my own in a deadlock, pushing her back with my massive STR stat, all the while slowly putting my blade and body into the initial position to activate another OSS.

The demonic boss drop sword in my hands began to glow with a lavender outline, shocking my opponent stiff as the first part of my OSS, «Soaring Backstab», activated.

My glowing sword pushed her own down with incredible force as I jumped into the air, using the power of my first hit to sail directly over her head. I twisted in midair, stabbing straight through the small of her back with my blade.

As I fell headfirst towards the ground, I thrust out my left hand to catch myself, my sword remaining in my foe's back all the while. I spun around with my left hand, my sword in turn tearing through her spine. The moment she began turning around, I pushed myself into the air with my left hand until I landed gracefully several meters away, the lavender glow finally fading from my blade.

As my post-motion delay kicked in, I decided to egg her on. "So, are we done playing children's games?"

"Well, I suppose you've earned that much," she relented, making my eyes widen slightly at her next words. "Sure, I'll go all out on you."

Not a second too soon, my post-motion delay finished, allowing me to block a powerful overhead strike from her thin sword. Unfortunately, that wasn't even close to the end of her onslaught.

I found myself blocking what seemed like an endless array of swift attacks from her blade, giving me little room to retaliate. Eventually, I grew tired of playing the defensive role, forcing myself to jump back and wait for her to charge again.

However, I had no way of foreseeing her next attack. She unleashed an OSS while I gained altitude, and all five hits made contact with their marks on my body.

After that skill ended and I landed several meters away, I immediately looked to my health bar, finding that it had just barely dipped into the yellow.

_A single OSS did that much damage?_ I mused, resting my blade at my side while I caught my breath. _And even crazier, this girl has the speed to make a skill with five hits? She's better than I gave her credit for._

"You know what?" I said, giving her an acknowledging look. "I'm impressed. A five-hit OSS? You're much tougher than I gave you credit for."

She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could speak, I cut her off. "However, I'm far from finished. Five hits is better than most can do… but it's still child's play for me."

"What about eleven?"

_Oh, shit._

The moment she finished talking, she charged at me, putting her blade in the position to activate what I could only assume to be her eleven-hit OSS. As she neared me, I took a deep breath, steadying my nerves in order to loosen my body.

A violet glow radiated from her blade as she closed in. I remained calm and loose, ready to dodge or block each strike. When she got within range to strike or be stricken, my vision tunneled until all I could see were the movements of our blades as her skill began.

The first two thrusts made contact with my right shoulder, though I just barely managed to block the next three as they followed the same pattern: a diagonal line of thrusts.

_So fast!_

She drew her sword back, then brought it forward in a thrust to my left shoulder. It made contact like the first two hits, but by this point, I had figured out that the next couple of hits would most likely mirror the original five. Luckily, I was correct, and I managed to barely block each of the rest.

Then, right after the tenth total thrust, she drew her blade back once more. The next split second seemed to happen in slow motion.

She began to thrust her blade right at my stomach, moving her whole body to boost the power of the final hit. Unfortunately for her, this also made it much easier to predict where the final hit would land.

"Haaa!" with a mighty shout, she let loose one last stab at my abdomen. It was all I could do to redirect it with my sword until it merely grazed my right side.

Even so, when I took a look at my HP bar after jumping back, I found that I was clinging to my virtual life by a mere thirty-two out of around fifteen-thousand points.

Despite my opponent still having just over half health, I knew that if I played my cards right, I could still win.

_After all, I could use my own best OSS… but is it worth it to show a good card in my hand so early on?_

This incredibly fast girl mistook my silence for a feeling of helplessness. "So, are you gonna give up?"

_Okay, it's totally fucking worth it._

"Not a chance in hell!" I replied, putting my body and blade in _almost_ exactly the same position to activate the dashing skill I started the battle with.

I could tell by the smug look in her eyes that she thought I was using the same skill. Her overconfident look only intensified as my blade started to shine in the exact same bright blue color as the duel-starting skill. But that was the whole point.

This was my best OSS for the one-handed sword build, which took the better half of a month for me to successfully create. It was meant to be a starter-finisher, one that would be able to defeat any player before they knew what hit them. Its damage played heavily off of my STR and AGI stats, making it hit incredibly hard and insanely fast.

And so, my ten-hit «Original Sword Skill» known as «Lightning Nightmare» began.

The second I unleashed it, I instantly closed the distance between us, slashing from her right shoulder to her left side in an incredibly fast motion that left my opponent stunned.

I followed up with a vicious spin attack that went from her right side to her left shoulder, the damage line creating an X with the one that came before it. A stab where the lines intersected followed, but she just barely blocked it with her sword.

I dropped to my knees, slashing through her legs from right to left at a slight slant and then reversing into a mirroring slanted strike.

The skill sent me jumping back just in time to avoid an ill-timed slash from her sword. I closed the distance again in an instant, an overhead strike immediately cutting through her head and into her stomach before I retracted my blade once more.

A powerful slash overrode her attempt at blocking at her left side, with my blade pushing her own back as it cut horizontally through the area just below her chest.

Two much faster diagonal hits that dealt two thirds of the average damage per hit followed in quick succession, creating a red X across her whole upper body. Then, the final hit initiated, making me draw my sword back in what looked like the preparation for a thrust.

She moved her sword into a horizontal position to block it, as I expected. But, unfortunately for her, the final hit didn't quite go as _she_ expected.

Just before the tip of my blade passed the level of my leaning-in chest, its trajectory altered, jerking itself downward so as to bypass her own sword. Her eyes widened as my shining blue blade passed her own black one in an uppercut-like slash.

In a mere moment, my sword made contact with her lower abdomen, then jerked up and through her whole body before it exited through the right side of her neck.

The second my skill finished, the winner message appeared in the air above us. I looked up and saw that I had indeed won. Sadly, my virtual lungs wanted to kill me right about then.

"God… damn… it…" I panted, almost falling backwards before I used my sword to prop myself up.

I looked over to where my opponent stood while her HP reset to full, seeing a blank expression on her face. Soon after she realized that I was staring at her, she walked over to me, sporting an unreadable expression.

"How did you create such a quick and powerful skill?" she asked me, her expression still hard to read.

_I can't exactly tell her that I was actually using a different build when I made that skill,_ I thought, my brows furrowing in contemplation. _She probably wouldn't understand, since nobody even knows about my real build…_

At long last, I came up with a plausible answer. "W-well, if you use equipment that increases your attack speed while making an OSS, it makes it a lot easier to meet the speed requirements… and on top of that, depending on what stats you set the skill to play off of, you might not have to move as fast anyway."

"Wait, what do you mean about the stats?" now she sported a look of genuine curiosity.

At this point, I was just glad the topic was no longer on how I made that specific skill. Thus, I was happy to explain anything that didn't involve the former topic. "About a month ago, the OSS record system got a new feature where you could select the stats you want your OSS to use for damage calculation. The default is to set it where it scales off of a little of all of your stats, but if you modify what you want it to scale off of, it can affect how difficult it is to create the skill you want."

"How do the stats it scales off of affect anything?"

I sighed, preparing to go into a rather lengthy explanation. Fortunately, I was saved the breath when I received a PM notification.

"Sorry, give me a sec," I said, laughing sheepishly as I opened the message window.

"_Hey, this is Sugu. Mom just got home and checked your room, and she's super pissed about the window. She made me log in to tell you to log out and explain. So yeah, you might want to get on that."_

"Oh, shit," I muttered under my breath.

The girl before me seemed to hear this. "What's wrong?"

"That was a family member of mine telling me to log out," I explained, giving an apologetic smile. "My room got a bit messed up earlier today, and I guess my mom wants answers."

"Oh, all right," she replied, putting her right hand up as a sign of farewell. "Maybe we could meet up tomorrow and you can tell me more about the OSS system."

I didn't know exactly why, but I found myself being much more agreeable than I usually would. "Sure, I'll explain a bit before the tournament starts. Though, I do have one question before I go."

"Ask away."

"Well, I know about your title," I told her as I waved the PM window closed. "But I don't actually know your player name."

"Oh, right," the «Absolute Sword» gave a sheepish look. "My name is Yuuki."

Suddenly, logging out and facing an angry mother seemed like the least of my worries. There was no goddamn way that it could be a coincidence at this point. The similarities from body to avatar were far too much to be a randomly-generated avatar, and the avatar was too detailed to be one just haphazardly thrown together. On top of that, the voice of this girl I met online was exactly the same as…

I managed to keep my cool as I logged off, though I desperately wanted to get out of the game as fast as possible. When I finally returned to reality, before I even pulled my Nerve Gear off, I uttered one sentence. One single sentence that completely summed up my thoughts about my entire life in general at that moment.

"I'm so fucked."

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><p><strong>And we're back. I'll be brutally honest with you; this story started out as just a way to stretch out the action-writing muscles that I've left rather unused for quite a while. It kind of evolved after that, but I never once expected to top four-thousand words in the first chapter alone.<strong>

**Well, I hope you enjoyed your read. If you did, I'd love to see a review from you. If you didn't, I'd still like to see one that tells me what I need to work on.**

**Unlike the top note, I really don't have much to say down here. I guess I'll just bid you farewell.**

**Wish me luck on the next chapter!**


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